Diary: I Felt My INTJ Persona

20/12/14

~Diary Entry~

I feel like I have a somewhat split personality – not the kind where I do not know what I am doing, nothing dangerous like that.

However, I experienced a side of me where I felt very powerful and demanding – a persona where I am so sure of myself that I will not respect bull-crap from people or re-hear words of knowledge that is already innate to me.

This energy that I only felt a handful of times made me feel unforgiving, brutal, deadly and powerful – my INTJ persona.

I could see my face in my mind and I looked lethal.

anger-angry-anime-anime-girl-Favim.com-1751472

When this INTJ persona came out at first…it was uncalled for, nothing have made me feel this way, there was no outside influence. I thought to myself that this personality was scary…yet satisfying. I would feel so in control of what I believe in and of myself as a person.

This INTJ personality overwhelmed me when I was drawing too; my resulting picture was a girl licking a sword in a witchcraft circle…

Also, when I was applying for a job, I had to fill out those questionnaires which asks, “are you good at working in a team”, “are you good at interacting with people” etc etc. Now I know that you can manipulate these questions and answer them accordingly regarding what employers want to see – but I like to stay true to myself…so much so that my INTJ persona came out. As I was typing in my answers, I felt indestructible and deadly.

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Needless to say, I was not picked for interview ¬_¬

If is was the recruiter, I would not pick me either, I sounded so unfriendly on paper. However, I really enjoy this side of me and I hope it makes more of an appearance.

Hope you enjoyed another random diary entry – Geomeun Goyangi

geomeun goyangi Complete

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12 comments

  1. Dynames Productions · August 12

    Looks like you are in the same boat as me when it comes to the job hunt (or were?). Although I do tend to be good with team work (I suppose that is thanks to the blessings I have gotten every time from having great team mates).

    Answering honestly is great. It is very lacking in our world, but also remember that to succeed we have to sometimes step out of our comfort zone. That may very well mean working with other people even if you are not comfortable with it. But that is a skill that can EASILY be trained through everyday life interactions. Ask yourself this, are you good at interacting with people in general? Then think about all the times you have been in a group project, how did that pan out? (Good I hope)

    A lot of the skills we as INTJs may think we lack are actually already there if you have trained yourself well socially while growing up. I struggle just as much as most introverts in trying to strike up a conversation with strangers, but during interviews I know that this social ability factors into their decision making. I step out of my comfort zone for it and try to strike up whatever conversations I can with the interviewer when they are either preparing or if the interview is over. Although I still need to work on those awkward silences I still tend to experience lol.

    Too bad I always end up losing out to the more experienced individuals in my industry. Never understood the mentality where companies don’t want to train people, so instead they hire the most experienced individual in their pool of candidate. Makes one think, when the experienced people retire, and if the workforce hasn’t necessarily given the very talented and hard working people out there a chance, what will happen? My guess, most companies will either struggle to swim or simply sink. Or Startups could become the next big corporations.

    How is the job market where you are located?

    How is your job hunt going?

    Liked by 1 person

    • geomeungoyangi66 · August 12

      I tend to be good in group projects because I am always the only one doing most of the tasks and delivering the final presentation or putting everything together – yeah…I seem to be the person who is always “stuck” with people who doesn’t work as hard. If I could choose, I would rather work on my own instead of having people leech off my hard work.
      If answering the question of whether I interact well with people in general…I really don’t interact unless I really want to. Sure, I’ll force myself to interact but I find that conversations get stilted so much more faster and that the overall interest is never there for both parties – people can feel the lack of sincerity sometimes (or I make it obvious on occasions). However, once I want to interact, it looks and sounds like a normal conversation that people have so in this aspect, I’d say that I am good…but that is only 34% of the time.

      Yeah, it’s interesting that you mentioned interviews. I guess we are all somewhat aware that we have to instantly make friends with the interviewer and so having verbal diarrhea on the spot is good (as long as you don’t go overboard). Introverted people have to jump into this extroverted mindset because a lot of interviewers like to hire people who are good with people (as well as not hiring someone who could make a customer complain about the company, or worst, get sued) – plus, customers control the company and not the other way round so you have to be seen as someone with “excellent customer service”. Interestingly enough, I think becoming talkative all of a sudden is a way of easing any stress and tension that might occur throughout the whole interview process – simply put, you try to talk and crack jokes to fill any chances of an awkward silence. In fact, this mindless (or tactical) talking is actually very easy to do when you have to (for me anyway) – any INTJ (and every introverts for that matter) do have the social skills they need to shine but sometimes, it is so buried deep inside (because we don’t always use it or practice it) that we question whether we can really carry a conversation properly…and so we have this mentality that we are “stepping out of our comfort zone” when in fact we didn’t need to think so much into speaking in the first place.

      My job hunting is stilted and you pretty much nailed why I am still unemployed XD What you said about companies not training individuals, I guess it makes sense, why waste time on training someone up when they have a possibility of leaving (although granted, experienced people could go just as fast). Hey, maybe they will train people up under the title “work experience”, “volunteer” or even “internship”. Anything free for the company which gives them an extra pair of hands is a good deal…not for the candidates though.

      I wouldn’t necessarily think that the economy will run out of skilled people because a lot of people start from the bottom and work their way up if they REALLY have no choice and so I guess this cycle would repeat itself. If it becomes an epidemic, the government would have to do something by introducing more random jobs. For example, in Japan, people get hired to stand near the entrance/ exit saying “welcome” and “bye” all day. Ya’ know, random and “pointless” jobs like that BUT it helps the economy, gets the homeless off the streets and people get paid. Whatever happens, there is always a solution. As a thought though…I wouldn’t be opposed to having this job – it’s easy and you just smile and say the most basic words (if we ignore that they may have other duties). I’ll question my sanity sooner or later though because of the brain numbing, none-intellectual capacity of the job – consequently thinking that I need to leave and find something else more stimulating and in my area of interest. This is just a classic example of “just working for the money” though and I don’t really like this idea at all.

      Hope your job hunting is going well…although it sounds stilted at your end too. Time to start a company (or something) I think! XD

      Btw, thanks for re-blogging my blogs ^-^

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dynames Productions · August 12

        I guess who you choose to work with also plays a huge role (if you are given a choice to begin with). I normally chose to work with people I knew well enough (preferably the more trusted individuals if they were in my classes).

        Internships are only good for as long as you are a student or have someone in the company to get you into that position. Companies usually favor students for internships (at least where I live they do). I did however manage to get a Practicum as part of my education program once, but that was only after rigorous negotiations on my end with a non-profit organization (and it was still unpaid). No other for-profit company even contacted me regardless of the countless applications I sent out. In today’s world, it seems you can’t rely on any company, you have to pave your own path.

        Volunteering is a great way to gain experience, but then the issue is can you get work experience in your chosen field of study through volunteering? For me, it is database administration and I can’t really do that. No company would want to put their precious database in the hands of a volunteer. It would be great if I could get experience that way (better than no continuous professional experience in my opinion).

        What is your field of study in? Is it something where you can do projects in your own time and put it on your resume? If so, think of doing that. I do that with the various programming languages I know and database administration as well. Check out my blog’s menu bar to see what I mean.

        That is interesting that the government creates such random jobs in Japan. But if it stimulates the economy, then that is good. My government won’t even take such initiatives lol. They are more focused on creating more sophisticated jobs. And in turn those jobs almost always end up asking for experience which in no way is dandy for new grads or the inexperienced.

        Working for the sake of money is not ideal, but if you aren’t lucky enough to have financial support, then sometimes you have to do just that. You have to pay the bills somehow after all.

        Well I only managed to get one job interview, for which I didn’t even get the job. They went with someone more experienced and local (the company is located in another province than mine). So I suppose, another disadvantage of job seekers is their physical location (as ridiculous as that may sound in this digital age). Local job seekers are always preferred over Remote job seekers (unless they are really experienced and worth the investment). Nice of the company to give me a fair chance though.

        Funny you mention starting a company, it is a thought that has crossed my mind lately. But what to start it in is another question. After all, a business is a serious and a long time commitment that I can’t just turn my back to at the flip of my mood lol. Plus, you have to have a certain type of mindset to really follow through with the idea of starting a company and making it flourish. Have you considered starting one yourself? If so, what would you start it in?

        No problem on the Reblog. If it is a post worth spreading, then I spread it to help educate others. Plus you might get more exposure that way to, so its a win-win situation :).

        Like

        • geomeungoyangi66 · August 13

          Yeah definitely, fortunately on most occasions we could choose who we want to work with but ironically, everyone tends to choose their friends and my group of friends are not exactly the most hard working types XD
          Yeah, what is with this double standard favoritism thing? It is hardly fair to have to “fight” on your own when help was suppose to be available for everyone.
          It’s a shame that not many (if any) companies give feedback as to why you weren’t chosen, even when they do, it is the generic “Thank you for your application, we have received a large number of interests. Unfortunately, you are not chosen today as other candidates are more experienced”.

          If you were volunteering for a job involving confidential databases then I guess you would have to shadow someone or be overlooked rigorously by a “superior” – another option would be being recommended by a friend (not exactly a fan of “it’s who you know and not what you know” mentality) but sometimes, it is just how it is. If you do or do not have a friend in your preferred field then it’s back to square one that is if you don’t want to ask for “favors” or try to get all friendly with them.
          What you said about volunteering in a field that you like is very true, the concept of volunteering is good and all but sometimes it isn’t the most appealing option, especially if you are volunteering for something you don’t like JUST to put something on your CV.

          Sadly, my field (Criminology, Criminal Law and Animal Management) isn’t something that I can mesh with my projects (totally different things!). Actually, I went on your blog a few times and I have been meaning to read your posts – there was one I saw a while ago about you “teaching/ explaining” how to make an App? Something along those lines (correct me if I am wrong because I feel that I am). I am really quite bad at technologies (besides taking things apart for fun)…maybe you could produce something that would help tech newbies to understand how things work, just an idea. You’ll have to build up some form of fan-base first though if you want anybody to pay you for help because a lot of materials are already available and free everywhere.

          May I ask where you are based? (Country wise). Either way, I guess that is why some economies are so effed, whilst the government creates more advanced jobs just for the more experienced people, the “little” people are left to fend for themselves, the “best” option? Benefits of course!

          You would have to work just for money if you really have to pay the bills…unless you are living with a partner or your parents. I never liked this idea though and neither am I happy with it. Having to rely on someone else to bring in the income and support you doesn’t feel equal after you’ve gone through all this academic crap…not to mention all the intuition that someone helped you with.

          Congrats on getting an interview, it’s a good experience to have and it helps you to improve for the next one :) Yeah, it makes sense that companies hire experienced people who are closer to them and like you said “unless they are really experienced”, companies will make an exception. Again, we are pretty much screwed. Not sure if living in a bigger city would help, but then again, opportunities would sometimes be in another province XD Another note, if you don’t have your own transport, your chance of getting hired reduces a bit too…not to mention that some job locations can be pretty rural, so we are limited in this aspect as well.

          The company thing is an option, maybe it doesn’t even have to be a company, maybe just playing around with options (easiest example is YouTube) where you can earn something. It’s true that you have to be a certain type of person to do some things but overtime, you will get more confident and comfortable (unless you decided something is not for you). I have projects in mind BUT I don’t think that they will be in the form of any tangible companies. Not this moment in time anyway.

          Thanks, I am proud to write posts that are…spreadable ._.
          It’s always great that everyone benefits from other peoples’ actions. It’s a win for you too! =^-^=

          Liked by 1 person

          • Dynames Productions · August 13

            It sucks that companies aren’t too keen on giving accurate feedback as you said, but I suppose time is money for them.

            The problem with trying to volunteer for a database field in general is that even if you suggest to shadow someone, two things could happen:

            One, they would still prefer a student over a graduate (sometimes this can be due to legal complications).

            Two, they would become over-protective of their databases (and understandably so, it is what keeps their business afloat).

            To really get in anywhere nowdays, you have to know someone. Most of my friends who got in even when the economy was good, they still needed friends to get them in. I’m sure that speaks volume to the importance of knowing the right people, and luck as well.

            I’m not too informed about criminology but couldn’t that come in handy for volunteering at the local police? Or animal management that could be used at a local zoo?

            Oh no, I wasn’t teaching or explaining on how to make an app. That was meant to be more or less a showcase of the apps I had made so far as a written demo. It’s posted both to inform and to showcase to potential employers.

            Regarding the idea of sharing knowledge for a profit (later down the line), it doesn’t really sit well with me. In my opinion, knowledge should be free. The supplemental material we share with that knowledge can be charged for however (for example, offering certification tests).

            I’m based in Canada. I’m going to guess you are in South Korea?

            Traveling limits are only an issue if there is no public transport :). Plus, I don’t know why but I have always had an aversion to cars in general. I would much rather take the bus and train than be responsible for more harmful gas emissions. I don’t want to go to my death bed with that regret in mind. This planet gives us the opportunity to live after all, why treat it so badly? :)

            I had actually been thinking of doing something with YouTube, more in the gaming sector since I love gaming. But YouTube alone won’t be enough nowdays thanks to things like adblock (yeah I’m guilty of that to =_=). Supplementary sites like Twitch and sponsorships and what not are a definite must. Funnily enough this idea crossed my mind when I was in a gaming shop a couple of days back lol.

            If you are open to the idea of sharing those project ideas. What types of projects do you have in mind? If it is something unique and not as tapped into, you could be onto something great here then granted the public reception would be good. But one can only know that by trying :).

            Liked by 1 person

  2. geomeungoyangi66 · August 13

    Companies can’t be too “secretive” about their database and process though, otherwise, who would keep their company afloat? They need to rely on someone and their sifting process is rightly justified in some sense (reading what you said).

    About your blog, yeah, I see a lot of people showcasing their skills and ideas with this method. It’s a good move, you get to do what you like and show potential employers what you are capable of. A lot of people are putting their business models and portfolios as well in their blogs AND IT IS WORKING, people are definitely being approached. From time to time, I would read a blog and think “are these just really advanced CVs and Covering Letters?” XD It is like something from ‘The Apprentice’.

    Yeah, I definitely meant paying for supplementary media or an in-depth revision of a particular subject.

    Oh Canada :o awesome, there was always something I wanted to see in Canada but can’t think of what it is right now XD Ah, no, not South Korea, I’m based in the UK!

    I’ll tell you my project ideas once I am 90% done with them (which could be for yeeeeeeeaaaaaaars) so with the option to not disappoint anyone, I shall keep the projects a secret for now) – they are nothing special though, just something I wanted to try out XD

    I’ll hi5 you on the “saving the planet and AdBlock comment” ^-^(‘)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dynames Productions · August 14

      I was always under the impression that you were from South Korea. Guess that shows me :P lol.

      But the Brexit must be an interesting time for you then. I’m sure it doesn’t help the job situation considering what I have heard regarding the economic impact.

      Like

      • geomeungoyangi66 · August 14

        Ahahahaha, whenever I go abroad (Japan and Korea), the natives there always mistake me for actually being a Korean and Japanese citizen by speaking to me; which is great! because I get to practice my broken Japanese and Korean (just only 2 weeks ago someone assumed that I was based in South Korea too). Must be the black hair and “yellow” skin man XD

        Well, nothing has really changed (or I didn’t care enough to look into it), the economy seems the same…sure the £ is a bit weaker but…we aren’t dying XD Job hunting for me is the same, you can argue it is harder to find jobs or not, either way, people are getting employed and some aren’t so nothing out of the ordinary really :)

        Liked by 1 person

        • Dynames Productions · August 14

          Well if the brexit didn’t have a huge impact on things then that’s good. I suppose its just us newbies stuck together on the same boat with the rest of the job seeker then :/.

          Did you learn Korean and Japanese from a young age? The only things I know are Good Morning and Thank you very much alongside a few suffixes in Japanese from anime lol. Other than that, I would be hopeless in a conversation with a pure Japanese or Korean speaker. Unless I wanted to rely on Google Translator…no I will pass up on that idea :P.

          Like

          • geomeungoyangi66 · August 15

            Well I think it didn’t have too much of an impact anyway (we’ll see after 2 years when we properly separate from the EU). I like how the media always manage to make everyone panic for weeks and then when the topic isn’t popular anymore then all you can find in the newspaper about Brexit is in a tiny little section somewhere.

            Nah, I just self-learn now and again, I learned Japanese in University but I forgot 90% of it which is a shame. For both languages, I know enough to not die if I lived in those countries. I went to Japan for 1 week a few weeks ago and by the end of the trip, I managed to understand (or really focus) on what people are saying whilst before, the brain got a bit overwhelmed and every noise just became background noise XD

            It would be interesting to see how you interact in foreign countries, maybe you would just point and grunt at something in the hope someone understands you (which they usually do so you will be fine XD). I’m sure you will prepare some “notes” before a trip to any non-English speaking countries anyway…right? hhahaha.

            Animes, any good ones? I haven’t watched Anime in years.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Dynames Productions · August 15

              Since I don’t know what your taste in anime is like, I will just recommend from my favorites:

              – **Aria (3 seasons – 1. The Animation, 2. The Natural 3. The Origination. Genre is slice of life)
              – Mobile Suit Gundam 00 (2 seasons + a movie. Genre is sci-fi, action & adventure)
              – **Black Lagoon (Genre is action. Currently incomplete due to the manga being on hiatus)
              – Kore wa Zombie Desu Ka? (2 seasons. Genre is action & comedy)
              – **Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou (Genre is slice of life, comedy & adventure)

              ** – High recommendation

              Those are all that I have for you. I have tons backlogged that I still need to watch and there is only so much time in a person’s life :/.

              Liked by 1 person

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