Diary: ‘Ants’

27/08/15

~Diary Entry~

I estimate that 87% of the world population are Ants.

What do I mean?

Well, I had this ‘epiphany’ whilst I was on my way to work.

Just another normal 9-5 office job, nothing that I am interested in at all but it was a job that actually paid well (although the traveling pretty much sucked out the perks of my salary).

So, I would get up at 07:00 and drag either my sibling or my dad to drive me to the train station, after the train ride, I would take the taxi to work; then after work (since I do not feel comfortable asking people for a ride to the station), I would walk 50minutes from my work to the station. This was for the first few months and I was pretty much losing 1 day of my¬† salary earnings out of the 5 working days – not to mention losing time; I practically come home at 19:30. It didn’t end there, I get stuck into my second job.

You might be thinking, why not take the bus? Well, the times that I managed to catch the bus I ended up 15 minutes late to work. The earlier bus means that I am still on the train OR that I have to get up earlier.

Why not walk to work? You know the way. Well…I did, for the rest of my contract; needless to say, I got up super early and dragged my poor soul of a family member to drive me to the station etc etc.

It was during my 7th walk to work in the morning that I started noticing more and more people around me walking to work on an array of bicycles, scooters (yes, scooter), skateboard and motorcycles; yes, if you noticed, our place of work is quite rural.

Then, after noticing all these people around me, it struck me that…we resembled ‘Ants’ or ‘Sheeps’.

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Society has successfully warped our priorities and turned us into an army that works for someone else; for the sake of money, for the sake of living. We have become numbed, this was our routine…the only thing we know and is probably the only aspects of our life that we can control fully. You get up, travel to work and go home to eat and sleep.

My job turned me into an automaton – I would wake-up, work, work some more, eat and sleep; this was my cycle and it was so hard to break out of it. It was stressful being so aware of what was happening to me (I mean, in the beginning I was already aware of what was happening subconsciously but this epiphany just made my brain form a hand and slap itself…basically, I blew myself away).

***Side note: I have so many ideas in my head that I always vowed to make them a reality by making a start on them after work. It never happened. The only time I could make a single dent in my ideas was on the weekends from 10:00 – 13:00. My schedule was so tiring that 90% of the time I slept right through till 12:30.***

Henceforth; I got so agitated at myself and at my life that I went a bit Bipolar. My moods were either agitated, annoyed, flustered, unforgiving, tired or pissed off and I would be so aware of my actions and emotions taking a toll on my family that…I furthermore got annoyed at myself for being pissed off. I could not tame the ’emotions’, I could not switch off my b*tch of a face even when I wanted to.

My entire being detested my job, my uncontrollable emotion and my brain for having so many ideas and interests – “what am I doing with my life?”. I have never been so unbalanced with myself and with my life.

I was in the throes of social conditioning and routine that I couldn’t break away from. So, I ended my work contract.

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I take comfort in knowing that we do not all have to be another ‘Ant’. We can be Entrepreneurs, we can be our own boss, make a company or be in a job that we are truly passionate about.

So I ask you; what are your criteria for job hunting?

For me, it really is about happiness and passion when it comes to a job; it always had been until the jobs I wanted were either not hiring or needed experience. So I went with my other job interests but weeks became months and I was still unemployed – I nabbed up the first job offer (have you ever noticed that whenever you have a job offer or when you have planned something into your calendar that other opportunities tends to pop up? What is that?! geez).

 

Are we living or are we trying to live?

 

 

I hope you took something away from this diary entry, catch you later – Geomeun Goyangi

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