As you can tell from my previous blog regarding INTJ Females: INTJ – The INTJ Female.; we are not your average female, we are not the females that society tries to mold us into and to an extent, our mentality is not so much governed by generations of psychological inheritance. We are our own independent thinkers. Henceforth, we tend to seem very unfeminine, aloof and unapproachable – needless to say, we do not flirt like most females (“…what is this flirting thing?..oh? pucker my lips and blink a lot?…are we cat-kissing them? why are we cat-kissing them?…okay, it looks like I have a nervous eye twitch…”)
So, on the topic of how to know whether an INTJ female likes you (those who are interested in us or simply just curious – rejoice!). Via extensive research and through personal knowledge; there are some signs that most INTJ females ‘display’ if we are interested (sorry male INTJs, I do not know whether the following signs applies to you, please let me know in the comments – I am genuinely intrigued).
~ We WILL be tuned in to you: We will be tuned in to your voice, your routine and actions and it will not be obvious. Why? Well, because once we decided that we are into you more than anyone else, it could be quite a revelation for us; so, we generally assess the situation and figure out our feelings logically by taking a step back. We will go about our daily routine and be normal around you. The distinction here is that, we will be tuned into your voice, words and actions. Yes, we will observe you without you knowing (it is as if all our senses are heightened and we zoom in onto a target). Our observation stealth means that you can never be sure if we are listening or watching you at all.
~ Awkward silences and stilted conversations: Okay…so this is nothing new, we are pretty bad at conversating to begin with, we have had a fair few of conversation silences. The difference is that, the silence is awkward; hear me out, it may sound silly but we INTJs are pretty content with silence and we have learned to take comfort in it, BUT, once we actually try to make conversation (which ends up as small talk -cringes-), the awkward silence hits us like a boulder. We WANT to talk to you, we do not know what to talk about but we want to talk to you.
So now we are rummaging through our brain, closing and opening our cabinets of interests and information – comparing it to your interests etc in an effort to create a deep and meaningful conversation (it is like a mini brain war zone). Yups, 15 minutes has already gone by due to our over thinking and analyzing. Hello awkward silences. If however, a conversation had already started or about to end; we will try to keep it going by asking a lot of questions (if any), whilst that person is answering, we will listen as well as go back into our mind to pull out theories, conflicts, facts, pros and cons regarding the topic to make it last. Again, hello stilted conversations. The above makes us look like we are not interested, when in fact, it is the complete opposite.
*side note: whilst we are already in a mini war-zone and being a major awkward turtle; we subconsciously build a profile of you in our mind based on your answers and thoughts to see whether we are compatible. Yes, we asks questions with different connotations behind them to collect the desired information to go into your portfolio :) *
~ Blunt truth and dark humour: If we like you after assessing you as a person, we will just lay our dark sense of humour onto you as well as telling you the stone cold truth if you asked for it, or if we observed something deceitful etc etc. We want you to know what we are about. Harsh and truthful with a warped sense of humour (…for a female anyway).
~ Deliberate interaction: Normally, INTJs tends to avoid humans, however, if it is confirmed (in our heads after much deliberation) that you are an interesting and awesome individual, we will make an effort to interact with you; even though we dislike small talk and social connections/ interactions. How is it deliberate? (besides the obvious where we try to talk to you), remember how we are tuned in to you? well, we take our intentionally absorbed fact file of you and, for example, if we heard that you like certain types of food – we will bring that food in for you the next day, we may also observe what time you leave for lunch – we will have our lunch 5 minutes after you leave, we will also know what time you go into the kitchen to make tea etc. Also, if we are comfortable around you, we may man-punch you as a sign of affection. If you are observant enough, this sign of interest from us can be spotted quite easily……, you may notice that…we are kind of a stalker too (with good intent).
“I like you”
“…are you sure you want an INTJ to like you? because we are creepy” – Geomeun Goyangi (A.K.A – me).
~ INTJ female becomes the peacock: This is probably the ‘flirting style’ that most female adhere to – we dress up feminine; or kind of feminine (more feminine than we are used to). Now we do not transition from a being a vampire to a fairy, “NO”, we simply wear more fitted clothing or smarter clothing to show off our sense of style and body. We might actually find ourselves buying new clothes too (online) – we will go feminine where it is just about bearable (no skimpy skirts, stilettos, push-up bra, make-up etc)
*side note: each INTJs to their own, not all of us have the same sense of style and we all interpret ‘bearable femininity’ clothing, aesthetics etc differently.*
~ Time delegations: We, INTJs, know the importance of time, our time as well as our self-worth. We do not want to be investing our time and our minds into people we vaguely like or don’t like. Therefore, if we spend time with you, it means we like you enough. If we are busy and decides to make time for you in our time of anti-socializing – it means we like you. INTJs value themselves and their time immensely, which is why if we don’t meet worthy people of our time; we will either be at home or somewhere anti-social. Being in our own company is important to us by nature, it is how we recharge ourselves and we sometimes love nothing more than when a ‘hangout or meetup’ is cancelled.
There you have it, some of our ‘secrets’ are out of the bag.
I must say though, you got to be quite observant to pick these indicators up. It is likely that an INTJ is highly self-aware of their actions that they tone themselves down before anyone can start noticing their behaviors.
So, have you matched any of these actions to some of your friends?
Are you going to? Feel free to ‘like’, ‘share’ and to leave a comment!
I hope this blog was interesting and informative for you! Love (not in a creepy way) Geomeun Goyangi ^-^
***Please note that these blogs should NOT influence you to generalize that all INTJs, as a niche group, are all the same – because we are not; a lot of other factors shapes and individualizes a person.***