The Art Of Defining Yourself & Others

“I do not want a Job to define me. I do not want my education to define me. I do not want my friends to define me. I do not want my mistakes to define me”.

I want me, my whole person to define me

Everyone have at least once defined and judged someone AND everyone have at least once defined and judged you – the easiest example would be defining you by your job.

Now, not a lot of us are lucky or qualified enough to do what we want to do – so when someone judges you and defines you based on your job which you either hate, like, not interested in, or you are in love with (congrats on landing a job you are passionate about!) – people will make a quick assumption based on your intellectual capabilities; i.e, you as a person

Jobs are the easiest asset or liability for people to compare themselves or others to:

  • You work for NASA? you must be smart and a geek;
  • A Lawyer or a Doctor? you must be smart;
  • A Tax Accountant and Dentist? you must earn a lot;
  • A Psychologists? you must be good at judging peoples’ thought process and why they do what they do;
  • Toy Inventor? you may not be boyfriend/girlfriend material; you do not seem mature enough;
  • A Bin man/Lady? you must be uneducated¬† and come from a bad area with low IQ and bad hygiene – you probably smell too;
  • Work from home? You must either be lazy, have special needs or have kids;
  • A Recruiter? you must love talking;
  • A Salesman? you must like lying a lot;
  • Work in a comic store? you must be a nerd.

Like, what is that?! The eff?!

Have you heard of university students fund their education by working as a sex call girl/ boy? – I have.

Have you heard of a PHD student working as a porn star? – I have.

Have you heard of anyone working at their job as well as working on other side projects? – I have.

Have you heard of a English Teacher with a Black Belt in Taekwondo? – I have.

1551522_731394513537957_465505756_n“…okay, those examples are true, no lie”.

Unbelievable right? People have other things going on other than their jobs?! But, but, but…their job defines them, their job IS them, why would they do anything else outside their jobs? Don’t people do their job, go home, eat, crap, sleep and repeat? (Yes, I am being sarcastic). Honestly, your knowledge of one aspects of a persons’ life does not give you an accurate representation of them.

Quit assuming, quit defining and judging people. There are more to people than the little information they give out or from what you have heard. Even the cleverest of people have their own crux – maybe a Psychologist has dyslexia, maybe a Lawyer cannot understand how a printer works or maybe a Scientist is bad at maths – we all have weaknesses.


The art of defining yourself is not limited to where you live, or your education, or your job, your IQ, your friends, your families, your mistakes, your weaknesses, etc –¬† you define yourself via your mindset and passion (what you choose to show to the world).

You define yourself by how you cope with situations, how you help others, what your likes and dislikes are, what your hobbies are, your passions, your dreams, your actions, your strengths, your crux, your philosophy, how your learn etc.

How you hold yourself and radiate your personality to others is how people will perceive you as a person. You have to think that, if someone wants to define you, then they have to know all of you and vice versa.

“To define yourself to the world is to be at peace with yourself “.


So how have you defined yourself to the world?


Geomeun Goyangi




  1. Pingback: INTJ – BFFs? Don’t Be Delusional…I Have | INTJ:Break-The-Chain
  2. ema · May 9, 2017

    Yeah, couldn’t agree more.

    This seems to be opposite with INTJ stereotype which is labeled as judgemental. I say it as a judgment with open possibilities.

    There are many factors that influence a person’s life. Speaking for myself, I know that uber laziness can sometimes pop up at any moment, but normally, I do something which I consider as crucial for my futuristic vision. Those things can be various, thinking and reading included.

    I always assume everyone else does the same, i.e. using their precious time to do something that matters to their life. This what makes me never judge anyone based only on their status, jobs, etc. Everyone is likely has another side.

    Though I’m not surprised, you’re the first person who tells me about that PHD candidate porn star ;)

    In my country, it’s getting more common for people to buy their master and PHD certificate. There are PHDs who cannot write proper sentences, cannot arrange their own speech, and the list goes on. I think it’s sad and mad.

    At the same time, I know a villager, a farmer (a profession that’s largely underestimated here) who can think clearly and knows his job super well.

    Reading along your blog, I have no doubt that INTJs can be cute, friendly, and compassionate. I should give you a digital hug ^^

    Liked by 1 person

    • geomeungoyangi66 · May 11, 2017

      Thank you Ema, great input! Apologies for the delayed reply =>_<=
      Absolutely, our (INTJ) judgement is very much open-minded, which is really contradicting when other people try to understand us, coming from my experiences, it takes a while to help people understand this side of us (at least this side of me – that yes, I'm judgemental, but open minded enough to not have a detrimental effect to the quality of the conversations when connecting with others). It takes work to clarify ourselves (when we talk about ourselves, we are 'Ne' influenced; which means that we are very capable of touching up on several topics on the surface level instead of staying on one subject and delving in deeper), but when we are understood by others, then it is worth it and the feeling is great.

      Ah, the laziness, when it hits us, it hits us pretty hard but as you said, we'll substitute/ balance out activities that will somehow benefit our various visions. Definitely, as always, it really helps to go into a conversation with the open-mindedness of being amazed, after all, every single person on this earth knows something that you don't etc.

      Ahahaha, I believe I got this PHD porn star person from a documentary :D
      I'm intrigued as to which country you are from, I really dislike anyone being able to nobble PHDs (amongst other things such as the justice system etc). It's ridiculous.

      Awes, thank you Ema, INTJs in general (if you get past their death stare and their ability to shut people off during conversations) are not as evil as the internet portrays us. Sure, we're dark and calculating, slightly creepy and highly weird in the positive sense…but it doesn't come from a place of wanting to harm others. Our morals are a foundation of who we are – so with this, healthy INTJs tends to be good people whereas unhealthy INTJs are the opposite.

      Since it's a cyber hug, I'll make an exception hahaha~
      \(=^-^=)/ <—- *opens arms*


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