You CAN, you SO CAN!

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(In a world of “I can’t”, be Michael Jordan)

Now, how many of you have said the phrase “I can’t”, followed by an excuse.

Or better yet, how many have you just always said “I can’t”. There is no excuse to follow because you truly believe that you can’t do something.

I have, and I’ll always end it with an excuse. That was the old me…the younger me that never really tried to question why I can’t do the things that I said I can’t do.

Nowadays, I’ll try to test just about anything to really see if I really can’t or incapable of doing certain things. What is interesting is that, I will always find myself capable of doing certain things that are what I thought my weaknesses. The only thing is, I find that I am below shite at certain things and that is okay.

I’ll still push my boundaries if something interests me and I will always test boundaries and theories to see if something is doable or not. For example, there are rules in games right? Well…I like to brake those rules to see what happens. Most of the time, your plan backfires, you may lose a life OR nothing happens.

Sure, I’m pretty bad at…for example MATHS, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it. It doesn’t mean I can’t add or subtract or play around with numbers.

The above shows that, I am not good at a subject (although disheartening) but it doesn’t mean that I am highly incompetent on the overall matter.

The moral is that…being able to do something which you thought you can’t just means that you have room for improvement. It is not like you are dead, that is when you REALLY can’t do things. The reality is that, yes, you are crap at somethings but you can still improve and learn.

So why would you think that you can’t train your weaknesses up to be your strengths? Or do you not even think about your weaknesses?

People throw around the phrase “I can’t” too easily and people take comfort in it, that, if you just say “I can’t” then other people would understand and not pick on you for that particular subject or topic, people may even help you. So now you stay in this mindset whereby you don’t need to improve yourself, that you don’t have to develop your weaknesses because everybody know that you are crap at whatever it is; and that sometimes, at least 1 person will come to your aid. Your fire to prove people wrong is nonexistent. You have accepted that you know and everyone knows that “you can’t”.

It is like you somehow hypnotized yourself into believing these doubts. That if “I can’t” then why should I mull over on what I can’t do when I can get to the good parts where I excel in most?

Here’s a question. Is it “you can’t?” OR “you won’t?”.

Think about that, there is a difference.

Our excuses limits ourselves more than we know. What people need to realize is that a lot of excuses are stemmed from myths, or better yet, “Science”, oh and don’t forget the fear of looking inadequate. “What if I look stupid?”, “Why are they better than me although we start (or started) on the same level”, “What if people laugh at me and look down on me?”, “What if I fail?, I should just give up”, “Scientific studies shows that I can’t…[insert objective followed by moronic reasoning]”. Everything man-made in life is “made” to contain people into little boxes, everything in life is to weed out the weak and incompetent because there IS no time for these people to improve – there is no place for your weakness on earth and better yet, we are made to relive our failures and made to believe that people will point out our failures. To an extent, this is true, for example, your GCSEs, “O” levels or degree (any academic qualifications) probably still haunt you with every CV you submit and interviews you go to. If you got crap results (like me) then the whole system will seem unforgiving.

Nonetheless, there is so much more to know and discover on the other side of your fear and of the societal myths.

A lot of people would easily and gladly just let their excuses hold them back OR purposely find excuses to “prove” why they can’t do certain things; but just know this…no one can understand everything at once and perfect that something. To reach perfection, you must be a blank canvas; at least enough to WANT to learn. Otherwise, understanding things too quickly may just mean that you don’t understand that something thoroughly enough.

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“I’m Dyslexic so I am a terrible writer and learner. BUT I’m very creative”.

“I don’t think I am clever enough to become a…Air Pilot or Broker (yes, random I know, just trying to think outside of the box okay?) so I won’t even think about going down that path or doing anything remotely related to it. BUT I am good with stats and I am a calm person by nature”.

“My grades SUCK, I can’t do what I want to now so why bother starting from the bottom…they wouldn’t want me. BUT I am the right person for them”.

“I’m left-handed so I’m terrible at Business. BUT I’m very good at thinking outside the box”.

“I am born with physical disabilities so I can’t do [insert]….BUT I am very good at [insert]”

“I don’t think I am pretty enough so I won’t even think about doing anything involving Media that will show my face. BUT I’m good at [insert] and I would make a good role model”.

“I don’t have time to learn an instrument. BUT I am really passionate about learning it”.

“Decades of Scientific research says that I can’t [insert here] because I am [insert here]. BUT I am [insert here]”.

These are pretty much examples of the bullsh*t crap you tell yourselves; all are very much stemmed from your insecurities – from physical insecurities to IQ insecurities, from societal pressures to societal reasoning. We all have them and we all have stigma tying us down – but how much of your insecurities are you willing to rule your life?

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Not everyone is born intelligent but then again, not everybody is born equally – the only thing everyone is equipped with from birth is the ability to breathe and the blood that runs in your veins. Even then, everyone’s blood is genetically different…blood cells, DNA… (damn Biology is so interesting).

Ahem, anyways, still, everyone had to start from somewhere. Everybody was born to be crap at things, everyone had to start off talking utter gibberish baby talk but as part of a natural process, you would grow from baby talk to fully putting together a sentence. Back then, “I can’t” wasn’t even in your vocabulary because everyone was encouraging you. You didn’t know what failure was, you didn’t have any insecurities back then. Same goes for now, you can still keep your past mentalities in play, your “I can’t” doesn’t even have to take a place in your thoughts; it is whether you want to learn or improve your attitude or not.

The existing self-doubt regarding physical appearances shouldn’t be taken to heart. Companies rules and regulations of what specific physical attributes they want doesn’t mean every other companies in the same industry have these exact same guidelines (go to another country and you will see what I mean – everywhere have different standards that are equally just as desirable). You can’t be generally less pretty/ handsome than everyone because at least ONE person will find you attractive. Better yet, if your personality is on point then I don’t see how you would not get anywhere in life. I don’t see why you have to hide yourself away from what you want to do most.

I once wrote,

“Honestly, being ugly is not a big problem – personality is so much more important than people realize. There are so many gorgeous and handsome people out there who once when they open their mouth, utter trash just comes out. Personality lasts a life time, your image does not. It is really important to value yourself because people can sense your doubt – you attract people who is on your level and so to open the door to attract ‘better’ people then you have to accept and improve yourself. (Plus, I’m ugly too, let’s be ugly together! :’D” – I still believe this to be true.

Being imperfect is a gift, what you choose to do with this gift is major. There are so many people who is in the public eye and sought by companies because of a distinct imperfect feature. To the person themselves, they may hate this specific feature, but to others, this feature that you hate is perfect.

You can’t judge what beauty is through your own eyes. No thanks to the media which will EVERYDAY always have unrealistic expectations of what the perfect human being should LOOK like. Standards come and go as fast as the next fashion trend. Even though you are reminded of your “ugliness” everyday doesn’t mean you are ugly. You can most certainly still put yourself through objectives that you like; why not go for the career or aspirations that you have always wanted? No harm in trying (providing that you put your best foot forward).

Okay, putting body positivity to the side. I am not telling you to go out and say “I can” or “why not” to everything. I just want you to question your weaknesses. Do they have to be weaknesses? Do they really have to stay at the level they are at right now? Or…could they improve a little bit more?

There are professors out there who are Dyslexic. There are Left-handed individuals who have been Presidents (not sure this is a good example though…) AAAAND please, saying that you are “not clever enough” is just an excuse BECAUSE hard work (usually) can get you almost anywhere.

Oh, and Paralympians, do I need to say anymore? Eff Science (even though I love Science).

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