As an INTJ…actually, before I even found out my Myers Briggs type, I have always been a forward person about the truth; you know, tell it like it is kind of thing.
The phrase, “truth hurts” never really held much meaning for me – obviously any truth will always carry a predetermined connotation of someone either being hurt 90% of the time. So I always thought that this phrase was idiotic.
If people cannot handle the truth then I would still tell them anyways – not because I am nasty or want you to suffer but I see it as the kindest thing I can do for you; out of care and respect. Honestly, we INTJs would love this to be reciprocated, as a form of mutual understanding if you will.
That was until I ended up shredding up someone near and dear to me.
To see a person crumbling and crying before me usually makes me feel awkward and go silent; however, since this person is important to me, I found myself still hammering them with the truth – I wanted to stop but I could not.
Why? Due to my respect for this person, I knew that their voluntary denial of the truth had to end. This person was suffering deep down for far too long – the truth that they have been suppressing needed to come to light. During that certain circumstance and topic; it was the perfect time for the truth.
So, I shredded that persons’ already tender heart. The truth was definitely too hard to admit and acknowledge.
It was this person that I realised that the truth hurts. I realised that maybe some truth should not be voiced out so bluntly or harshly/ unemotionally. I actually felt a slight pang of emotion for that person, so much so that I vowed to myself that I will not hurt anyone to this extent again by voicing the truth.
Although this truth serum of an INTJ trait is who I am, all I can do is to restrain from being too harsh if I know the person cannot handle it. Plus, I do not think I will shred another person to an extent whereby I will feel feelings – based on the fact that I do not have many people whereby I care and respect a great deal <— this sounds bad but…truth.
INTJs sign of respect and care means that we have to tell the harsh truth. There is no filter, we just stab our ‘victims’, none of this slow torture business – we are simply sparing that person with the truth by being quick and on-point. Why get to a point with 50 words when you can use 5?
For an INTJ to tell you like it is, is a good thing; it is a sign that we are comfortable enough around you and understand you enough as a person whereby we do not want to be deceitful towards you – someone that we acknowledge – we are not here to comfort you with lies.
Although personally, even if I just met a person, I do have the tendency to say the truth anyway, that is if and when the situation seems fit. People either look shocked or laugh nervously…
So yes, I will, for now, not shred another person into pieces. It had been a few years since I destroyed this person and I still remember it like it was yesterday; maybe it had an impact on me more than I thought. Although it does not change who I am, I am more aware of the devastating strength that a truth could hold.
Yep, our sign of respect means that we are harsh but fair…wouldn’t you agree? – Geomeun Goyangi
***Please note that these blogs should NOT influence you to generalize that all INTJs, as a niche group, are all the same – because we are not; a lot of other factors shapes and individualizes a person.***