Dear Readers =^-^=

Hello my beautiful (and handsome) readers~ =^-^=

Geomeun Goyangi here, just letting you know that I’m still alive and have not forgotten about you all!

You know those days where you get overwhelmed with ideas and you just want to show everyone about what you are thinking and have researched? Well, I’ve been having these days for weeks now and at the same time, it’s as if my fingers cannot type or write faster than my brain. A lot of important content/ thoughts get missed out and I am left trying to recall what that specific thought was.

I ended up not able to complete any blogging topics/ ideas because I get excited and wanted to research for long hours. It’s almost excessive but it’s what I do best. Research the duck out of everything. Outcome? post-it notes everywhere, 17 unfinished draft notes online and papers with paragraphs of notes everywhere.

At the same time…this year, I’ve been mulling over Life and what I want to do 10x as hard as I have in the past. As a result, this year, I seriously thought that I was a year older than my actual age hahaha~ I had to go all the way back to my birth year to find out how old I was.

Anyways…

I want to have a “heart to heart” talk with you guys. I’m not entirely sure how to go about this but do…

Ahahaha ahem. Maybe I’m just speaking to myself but that’s okay.

Soooooo, I feel…lost these days despite also feeling like I know what I want to accomplish. If you have read my blog post “Lost” In The System Of Conventional Living; you’ll know what I mean.

Even though I’m just about lucky enough to figure out what I want to do and to actually start on “projects”…there is a deadline where I might need to start job hunting again so time is on the essence. Not only that, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to stick plans to accomplish something each day. So I finally decided to stick to a schedule (after drafting countless of schedules – I’m 2 days in so far and I am liking it, when I do manage to get out of bed. We’re in a tight relationship ya’know).

Anyways, I got sucked into this thought cycle of what I want to do, what I need to do to get to my goals, what I should do, how to balance or multi-task it with the ever-changing scenarios around me coupled with other things like doing the right thing by my brain and my heart. So much so that I became lost in the moment. Yes, this moment lasted months. Think of it as a consistent low-key, slow burning fuse that intensified just this past month.

Sometimes, I’ll get irritated if someone asks me what I am doing with my life, because by then, an attempt to push this topic to the back of my mind would have been made. I don’t want to think about it because, even though I know what I want to do…I don’t know how to get there without too much bump in the road.

Yes, you might be thinking “nothing will ever be smooth sailing”, and you are right, this fact topped with my research do stop me in my tracks.

Despite all this close-mined dilemma and inward-thinking…I realised again (finally) that…I’m still young (this sounds condescending, sorry). I suddenly realised that, I have all the time in the world to stumble around and to experiment with Life.

Suddenly, I saw (in my mind) the mist that was clouding me suddenly pushed back. I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. My worries disappeared and I felt ready to actually tackle the sub-goals that was already drafted out weeks before.

There was a point where I was thinking that my dreams are beyond me, that I felt inadequate as to how to go about it, that I’m wasting time and money on these so-called projects that could MAYBE generate a form of income in return for me to continue what I want to do.

Then…one day, a YouTuber called Terri Savelle Foy video recommendation somehow caught my attention. So I clicked onto a few videos and I took away these two silver-linings:

“God gives you what you can handle even if you don’t think you can”

“You can’t out-give God”

These two in particular struck a chord with me. I was getting bummed down about how to achieve my big dreams and as I have written in Someone Is Always Better Than YOU; dreams are proven achievable because other people has already done it. To achieve you must dream first right?

Sometimes I think that, people have ideas and achieve their ideas for a reason.

Recently, it’s more about taking baby steps and planning in sub-sub-sub-sub-sub goals to refrain from getting overwhelmed. I made a spider diagram and it was a mess, after a few times, it became more refined and articulated.

Sometimes, you have just got to give everything you’ve got. Even if you feel like things are getting hopeless or you are getting way too lost in what you think you should be doing; just know that, when you put all your efforts and soul into what you believe in, sooner or later…you will have a bigger return. Making your time and energy worth while.

Remember that Bamboo Tree  Moral I told you guys about?

“Once you plant a bamboo seed, you will see no sign or even an indication of a bamboo tree forming, that is until around 3-5 years later does the bamboo tree reach their maximum height, reaching the canopy within just 6 weeks”.

Not many people say this to each other but…for those of you who are feeling lost, overwhelmed or even scared. It’s okay. When you aim high, things are going to get scary. When you want different things and walk different paths, things are going to get confusing and overwhelming.

I just want you to know that, it’s okay. Most people don’t know what they want in Life and some don’t know how to get there and that’s okay.

One tip from this post for those struggling because you thought you had bitten off more than you could chew; write down your ideas so your brain can properly see it and understand itself. It will only take 10 minutes or less, trust me. I did this (spurred by excitement) and the notes was a mess! My brain content spilled out onto the papers and I was adding and scribbling out words here and there.

It only takes time when you decide to clarify and simplify the content (it took me a whole day whilst doing other things – if it is the most productive thing that you will do all day then it is worth it).

Make some spider diagrams, make sub-goals/ actions, write out why you want to do what you want to do. Don’t know how to put an image into words? draw it! Just make everything clear. Your ideas doesn’t have to be in your brain because the moment that you see your vision and concept on a piece of paper, you can add or subtract to it without storing details in your head. At the end of the day, do what’s right for your heart, maybe it’s an act of selfishness and some people do need to be more selfish than selfless sometimes. Just ask yourself this, would you regret your decisions later on if you didn’t do what you wanted to do or should have done? It’s a powerful question, a question that has made me act out of character once or twice. Sometimes it’s best to go and find your answers and face your questions head on than waiting – maybe you’ll get a negative or a positive outcome, maybe you won’t get anything at all; either way, you’ll get some form of answer and this is way better than willfully staying in the dark. This goes for your personal life, business life etc. Now, being an analytic freak that I am, this whole content seems like an excuse, however, I just wanted to let you know where I am in my thoughts and that I have not forgotten you guys at all.

So please do bare with me.

I have updated the this post INTJ (UPDATED) – Talking? Debate? Arguement?…Too Much Effort, Unless…

Happy reading =^-^=

Geomeun Goyangi