Don’t. Because any exhaustive list will be inconclusive.
Yeah, that is about it. Don’t try to find us, seriously.
Also, just a little thought – it feels as if we are being profiled in the same way some people who just want to find someone “tall, dark and handsome”.
Alrighty, that’s it for this topic, see you next time!
Where there is curiosity, there is demand and I shall give you a collected insight as to why we choose the places we do.
Some of us INTJs obviously enjoy the elusiveness of our nature (I know I do), whilst some INTJs are pretty adamant about “we will find you, not the other way round”.
Okay so, where do you find us INTJs?
Although we do have a range of different hobbies and places that we try to hang out occasionally (failing after the 2nd time), eventually, the one place you will 90% find us in is at home – that or at work or a classroom where we can’t escape. We embrace our “solitude” because it is how we work best. Focused, uninterrupted and efficient. So it can be hard to find an INTJ who willingly now and again ventures out when they feel like it.
For INTJs, there isn’t a necessity to feel the need to follow the social dynamics of their friends. Indeed, social dynamics can impose different pressures based on gender, however, this doesn’t really affect what the INTJ wants to do – we don’t care about being a vibe killer and what not. Despite not caring though, we will let the group down tactfully by telling the guys that, “I have to go early” way before the socializing day.
Nonetheless, when INTJs are with a good group, you can find them at bars, parties, clubs, karaoke, bowling alleys, movies etc. Like everyone, we just mimic the social activities as much as possible. Slowly but surely finding our vibe and rhythm within the group.
Now then, before answering where do INTJs go…what do they do when they are at home? Seriously, you would think that spending hours on end at home would be boring, but it really isn’t. It’s not like we do anything different to you, we just;
- Daydream (introspection);
- Play video games (boomheadshots);
- Take part answering, commenting or observing a group that we joined online. It’s interesting to see the types of topics being flung around (typically, if you see a long essay answer to a question then it is possibly the work of an INTJ);
- Watch videos, movies, TV;
- Work on projects;
- Draw/ paint;
- Practice an existing or new skill;
- Listen to music,
Nothing special, just the trivial normal stuff that everyone does. We just have more fun doing these things – before you ask again, no, we don’t levitate things at home, we just watched too many Star Wars. The force is not with us.
Anyways, it is true that we are indeed private individuals, our need for privacy and efficiency will make us choose our home OR less populated areas.
Outside of the house…well, we tend to choose places that allows us to concentrate on our work (yes more work – not entirely relaxing but it is productive). We want a balance between surrounded by people (otherwise we would have just stayed at home) with a relaxed and quiet atmosphere, quiet enough to be passed off as background noise.
Our chosen places of study or work are;
- Libraries (if there is a quiet section then that is a bonus);
- Lunch break room/ classroom/ courtyard or a field on campus. Eating at our desk at work or during our academic years works too – that is if we can’t escape home.
We’ll be the ones sitting near a window, in a corner, behind some form of barricade or is the person who leaves an empty gap/ seat in between ourselves and other people. We’ll sit at the end of a row; which makes us look like sore thumbs – we’re not being mean nor do we have a problem with you. We just don’t want to people…everyday.
For the times where we do want to go out or need to go out, our choices would be the;
- Bookstore/ library;
- The gym;
- Under a tree, near a lake, on a hill or somewhere in a park observing and taking in mother nature (personally, when I have the time – going out when the sun sets to see the sky turn from being baby blue to amber, electric pink that blends in with crimson to a dull purple and then dark grey blue within a short time frame is pretty splendid);
(Botanical gardens are good choices)
(Seeing the Skyline isn’t a bad choice either…when you get past the light pollution thought)
- Hiking or taking a stroll;
- Sitting somewhere to observe people (parks, a cafe in a busy area, tourist places or even a shopping centre);
- Focus groups or clubs – somewhere we can focus our energy on perfecting something (e.g badminton or a dance);
- Somewhere that allows us to showcase our talents or proficiency at performing certain tasks;
- Shops for when we must buy home appliances and food then you will just need to look for a person walking really fast and looking concentrated. INTJ females buy things like guys do, find a product, pick it up and move on to the next item (we’re just on a mission to go in, buy things and get out);
- Window shopping;
- Somewhere with pretty looking/ tasty food…if we can’t get it delivered that is;
- Going into stores that has weird gadgets and items (novelty stores) – just things that are interesting to look at. *Stares at a lava lamp*;
(Not a novelty store but what is this even…? Anybody looking for a Halloween costume with the benefits of something beauty related…hit Japan up)
- Game stores, arcade and even internet cafes;
- Stationary or craft stores – INTJs are artistic one way or another (digitally, on paper, on canvases, with clay or with yarns);
(You have no idea how happy stationeries like sharpies and copic markers make me feel – they were on sale too! BONUS!)
- Hence why some go to museum exhibits and galleries when they can be bothered,
- INTJs go to orchestras or anywhere with good music when they want to be immersed via audio.
- Somewhere that immerses our sight is great too – movies or a hall of glass mirrors.
We will gradually get engrossed with the surroundings and will not even think about making the first move to speak to anyone (unless asking for directions) as we don’t want to bring any social interaction upon ourselves. Sometimes, we don’t notice the people around us.
At the same time, INTJs can be indifferent as to whether they want to be disturbed or not, nonetheless, we often seem aloof and reserved; despite this…we’ll be really friendly if you were to approach us – even if you did so happen to snap us out of our bubble (happy place). We don’t want anything to be awkward and an annoyed glance at you is not going to make anyone’s life easier.
Luckily enough, the above settings provides the one on one personalized socialization with a more relaxed feel and the surroundings gives rise to conversations and a possible common interest.
So don’t be afraid to talk to us (sorry fellow INTJs if I opened up a whole can of socialization for you next week – maybe if you start smiling now then people would think you are “just another” extrovert). There is a catch though, if you ask too personal a question (like digging our heart up), this isn’t technically a good idea because we will deflect everything you asked like a boss. Sure, you can ask questions probing our thoughts and some INTJs might just open up, however, ideally, we’ll like to gauge how you answer your own questions first.
Here are other factors that dictates whether we become hermit crabs or a social butterly.
The possibilities of an INTJ venturing outdoors are heavily dependent on factors such as what our immediate area has to offer. If there is nothing to do and no places to go to immerse our senses or to work then home is where we will be.
Another factor is the weather, seasons or occasions can make us either stay home or go out. For example, summer and some festive holidays where you have to swim through people is a huge turn off for some of us (not that I’ve been to a big party and yes I would love to go. I would like to think that I would die within a few minutes – “Halloween costume? Sure, just give me 3 minutes in this hell hole and you will see that I have become a corpse”).
Winter and fall on the other hand would make some INTJs put on heavy layers of clothing to intentionally venture to a cafe for some down time – it’s cold, not as many people (and children) will be out; even more so if you go during the weekdays, the noise level is on fleek. Also, there’s a beautiful feeling when you walk in the cold holding a hot beverage.
Yups, we’ll take a walk more often – winter nights are breezy, quiet and nature looks pretty too.
(Although 80% of the time I would rather stay curled up under the duvet when it’s cold… going out like this isn’t so bad and yes, I spelt scarf wrong; I merged the words scarf and scarves together accidentally)
So really, I wouldn’t try to find us. Having told you where we might be, isn’t it now harder to find us? Because bottom line is that we can be in the most obvious places yet be at the most unusual of places that ties in or “conflicts” with our personality. We are hard to track down and to be identified, we are just a bit too predictable yet unpredictable in out actions. Now is a good time to tell you that, even if you think someone is an INTJ, INTJs are genuinely good at connecting with anybody they want to and when they do, their shadow functions, the ESFP, sometimes come out (I will explain the ESFP functions in another blog post soon).
As a believer in fate, if you stop searching then you can expect the unexpected.
Geomeun Goyangi =^-^=
P.S – Yay, a new blog post! Thanks for your patience~
***Disclaimer: 87% of these quotes are from myself. Also, please note that these blogs should NOT influence you to generalize that all INTJs, as a niche group, are all the same – because we are not; a lot of other factors shapes and individualizes a person.***