Simply put, we INTJs have no qualms about cutting ties with people, even if we knew that person for years. Be it friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, families or relatives (blood link holds nothing to us) – all are just as easy to erase as each other.
INTJs have a strong grasp of the physical world around them, we value our self-worth and we also know that we can control our life by choosing who we want to be around or not; but above all, we have a purpose for wiping out someones existence from our lives.
We are very tolerant of peoples shortcomings, we will be around them if we feel that we can learn from them, for example, how people socialize and communicate. Yes, we do choose to keep friends with the motive to improve ourselves and to build our mind stamina – but if people turn out to be irrelevant or are a waste of our time then we would just not bother with them. Also if someone loses our trust and respect or if someone proves detriment to the people we value then we will just walk away from them.
On that note, people can mess us about, if we give them permission…psychologically that is. Personally, only 2 people can make me annoyed physically whereby I tend to swallow my retaliation. If anyone dares to mess me about then I would either retaliate or just go silent because I did not give a damn.
I can see why we may be seen as cold-blooded, purposely getting rid of people; however, sometimes it just happens as we are not good at being ‘needy’ all the time, nor do we feel the need to stay connected with people occasionally – even if we do have each others numbers, Hotmail, Facebook, twitter, whats app etc. So people end up coming and…going for the most part, or we just end up disappearing.
Having said that, if there are people who we do not want to erase but have to (I call these people a distraction), we would probably fall into some feels, shed a single tear after we sorted out exactly what we were feeling and then move on with our lives.
Distracting people, for an easy example, can be people that are compatible enough with us to develop a romantic relationship; girlfriend, boyfriend, fiance, wife or husband – these people are hella distracting. These people have our attention and we will imagine and contemplate our future together. “That is good, you finally found someone worthy”, you say.
First of all, yes! It is great to find someone compatible with us. However, it is not great especially if we (you and us) have different priorities, commitments or are at different stages in our life or if we have things we have to either start or finish first. So when we get to the point where we become conflicted between that person and our priorities; logically, we would (with a heavy heart), we get rid of the distractions.
Nonetheless, erasing people may sound like a quick process, and it is, if we are getting rid of people who needs to go immediately. However, for the people who we built a connection with…lets’ just say figuring out our feelings in general is hard enough, so this scenario will take just as long, if not, even longer due to the fact how undeveloped our feelings are combined with all the reflection and reminiscing involved.
Do not get mad at us, if we purposely erase you then 85% of the time it is probably because you did something to devalue us or hurt our loved ones. Or basically, if you are just not a very nice person in general. As for the other people who we lose contact of (not on purpose), sorry, life happened.
To the people who we connected with but had to let go, please know that we have thought long and hard before our final decision – it is not to be taken lightly. Maybe we are not much to you but if you got to our emotions then that means we value you a lot (it is safe to say that it is frustrating when people will never understand what we, INTJs, feel in or head and in our hearts) – so the decision to let you go is annoyingly hard, even more so if we do not have many people with the same connections that we had.
Think of it as us relinquishing your hold on us.
Maybe we will get back to you, maybe you will get back to us, who knows. Time waits for no one, a lot can change in a year or in a day and so we could be potentially making the biggest mistake and regret of our lives – to an extent, we will know and acknowledge this fact, painful as it is.
“Life; throwing curve balls at you 1 ball at a time, 365 days of the year”
So after this blog, I hope that you found INTJs not to be as cold-blooded as you thought, we are emotionally conservative and just more logical about our purposes.
Now, have a little listen to this song – it is beautiful =^-^=
***Please note that these blogs should NOT influence you to generalize that all INTJs, as a niche group, are all the same – because we are not; a lot of other factors shapes and individualizes a person.***