INTJ – Self Control and Emotional Infliction

As a fellow INTJ, I highly value my self-control and willpower. On the scale of 1 (no control) – 10 (complete control); I would rank myself a 9 out of 10.

Self-control is needed all the time, to name a few:

  • Control of their life – this is a very important example, if we lose control of our life then the following examples spirals out of control;
  • Control their impulsiveness- buying products without consulting our brain and bank account regarding whether we ‘Need’ or ‘Want’ that item;
  • Restrain from addiction – addicting to chocolate, coffee, tea, nicotine, helium, drugs;
  • Restrain from bad habits – binge eating, binge drinking;
  • Psychological control – rationality, morality.

An INTJ without control – especially over their own life; can overtime render them lethargic, uninspired, suffocated, confused and pissed off. When INTJs get pissed off, they would hate themselves for not being able to contain their emotions. An INTJ without control makes them feel powerless; thus they would end up questioning their life and everything about themselves too.

When we lack directions in our life, we find it hard to distinguish what we really want out of life and who we are, who we should be verses who we want to be – what am I doing? where am I going? what are my hobbies? interests? passion? where is my social life? where are my friends? why am I alone? why do no one understand me?

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Without control of our life, our self-control are out of the window – we end up wanting to just disappear.

Many INTJs have their weaknesses when it comes to being in control of their actions, no matter how great their willpower are – we are all humans after all…sadly (put your hand up if you want to be a weak weak human! :D “…not me”).

 

From this point on, I can only talk subjectively.

I take pride in containing my impulses and addiction free lifestyle. People find me weird for not being addicted to any beverages (mainly coffee) – in my mind, I do not get addicted; but I will purposely drink, for example, Green Tea or lemon tea constantly if I am either breaking out in acne, if I ate too much junk or if I am feeling bloated (TMI?…meh). I know that I am not addicted because I do not crave these beverages and I am very aware of what I am doing – I am not on auto pilot every 30 minutes to grab that so called ‘quick fix’ as I have ulterior motives for doing what I am doing.

However, these 2 years I do binge eat or eat unhealthily now and again if my emotions are unstable. As for Psychological control – I rate myself a strong 9.

lkn

You may think that these self-control have their perks, and they do; you can be your logical self at all times, but there is a major down side. Since our self control is so high, we cannot be as spontaneous as we want to be and we do not experience things that we want to.

If ever you see an INTJs bucket list, it could look like they have a split personality; my temporary bucket list ranges from seeing the Aurora Borealis to Sky diving.

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Which brings us to our self-induced emotional infliction. Yes, we do not like drama, but we voluntarily impose psychological drama on ourselves, that is, if we ever allow ourselves to do so.

Since our self-control is near perfect, there are times where we want to ‘test our limit’ – to feel human. I am not talking about thoughts of suicide or inflicting physical pain on ourselves; as stated before, it is along the lines of psychological infliction.

Personally, as examples; there are times where I want to take up smoking just to see how hard it really is to quit, it takes 30 days to make a habit and to break a habit (so I have heard). I want to conduct this ‘experiment’ to  see how strong I am – “how hard can it be to quit smoking?”. Yes, I understand that the longer you smoke the harder it is to stop – this is just a mini experiment, I am not trying to kill my brain and livers.

There are times where I want to drink myself into obliteration when I fall into some problems/ feelings etc – I wanted to be intoxicated and to be able to let go…but I could not. My self-control, my consciousness and self-respect would not let me go, my restraint is too vocal.

There are times where I have a mental ‘hit list’ where I would gladly carry out, having watched so many CSI and having studied Criminology and Law in university, I can make someones’ death look like a accident – I do not mind shaving my fingerprints off.

It makes you think though, how screwed up we would be as an individual if our self-control were nonexistent.

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So, with such high control, there must be some sort of emotional infliction to counteract ourselves – with the aim to feel more human; ironic, since we pride ourselves on our robot-ism and purposely drama free life. INTJs are quite the contradiction.

If you are an INTJ, do you get any thoughts whereby you want to do something to feel human or to test just how good your self-control are?

Non-INTJs, do you ever get these thoughts?

Let me know in the comments below – Geomeun Goyangi

geomeun goyangi mark

***Please note that these blogs should NOT influence you to generalize that all INTJs, as a niche group, are all the same – because we are not; a lot of other factors shapes and individualizes a person.***

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7 comments

  1. Pingback: INTJ – Stress | INTJ:Break-The-Chain
  2. vzandria · October 29

    I know the experiment part, sometimes I push buttons on people just as a social experiment. I want to see what emotions play out in certain situations. I also put myself in certain situations just to see what emotions Ill go through. Yet I thought this was all just because I wasnt right in the head, or because of my abusive past.

    Like

    • geomeungoyangi66 · October 29

      Hey vzandria~
      These social experiments is just how we collect and expand our data. Since our minds are quite complex, we too want to know how other process their thoughts, what they think, how they react and what they feel – best way to find out is pushing buttons or just asking weird questions XD. Sometimes, it’s fun to ‘predict’ the other persons reactions based on the intel already gathered. It’s no wonder why we like observing people so much hahaha~

      We have the tendency sometimes of wanting to test whether we have full control of our minds since we spend a lot of time developing and understanding ourselves – when we have reached the point where we think we have mastered our own mind; there’s an urge to venture into a area that is new to us just to test ourselves with experiments that evokes attachment. Whether we act on it is another thing.

      Your past can have an influence on how you developed into an INTJ or at least assembled some traits that relates to the INTJ profile. I found that there are quite a few INTJ that went through traumatic events (or just bad experiences) which shaped their thinking (e.g disliking people etc). It’s interesting.
      Don’t worry, a lot of people are not right in the head either, which is why having morals, self-control and enough empathy is important to stop crazy shiz from happening XD

      Like

  3. Amr · March 25

    Oh god! As an INTJ who never met another INTJ in his life , i felt so alienated about having my “extreme” self control … not wanting to get addicted to anything as you mentioned ,and trying to test and thus improve my self control further! And i do agree and relate to everything you have mentioned …

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    • geomeungoyangi66 · March 25

      Glad you could relate! It is a strange awareness to have about yourself, about wanting to test yourself without letting go of this intense self-control. It’s almost ironic in a sense as to how we can exhibit 2 thoughts that are on the opposite spectrum of each other.
      Maybe you won’t feel as alienated now since you now know that you are not the only one with such strange feelings/ thoughts =^-^=

      Liked by 1 person

      • Amr · March 25

        To be honest , i am kind of tired of this intense self control .Sometimes we have to let go so we can focus on more important things in our lives .So for me ,every year or so , i try my best to give myself a break from that self control for a month or less , just to have a taste of what im missing! And yesss, i dont feel as alienated now .I just want to make some alien friends and my life will be way better ;)

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        • geomeungoyangi66 · March 26

          It is tiring, yet it’s such a blessing as well as you don’t get easily influenced by social factors that are present in today’s society (drinking, clubbing, sleeping around etc).
          I’m glad that you are giving yourself permission to ‘let go’ once in a while, which is very much needed!
          Hahaha~ well, alien friends or not, just be comfortable with who you are, let your weirdness shine and you’ll attract other weirdos with that light of yours :)
          Good luck Amr =^-^=

          Like

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