So….What is a Sociopath?
A Sociopath is someone whose objective is to ruin your life. The definition of a Sociopath has been changed a number of times over the decades; Sociopath were once known as Psychopaths. The differentiation begins when ‘Sociopaths’ are “founded” to have a little bit more empathy than those of a Psychopaths (although Sociopath are one stroke away from being vindictive, tyrannical and toxic human beings).
Those who are or was the victim of a Sociopath, I am here to tell you to SPIT OUT their poison and to WALK AWAY…
…and I’ll tell you why :)
But before explaining what “poison” I am talking about, I just want to say that:
Although I know some of you (the victims) would just want to warn everyone of the Sociopath that you had or have to deal with in your life; you shouldn’t. You should let people find out for themselves. Why? because some people (or majority of the people) will not believe you. You see, the art of the Sociopath is the mastery of people. To wrap people around all their fingers – Sociopaths are charming, confident, cool, cunning, exciting, clever, ambitious, different and almost “sexy” to an extent.
Sociopaths are great with people ON PURPOSE. They display the right signs, they have the right cards in their hands and they know which cards to play with. They display an aura of friendliness, helpfulness, innocence and of course, good moral. You’ll never detect the deceit in their unwavering voice.
(Sociopaths, Psychopaths, same difference)
What you (or other people) don’t know is that, Sociopaths only damage the people closest to them and so outsiders (best friends, friends, colleagues etc) will never know or suspect such sociopath tendencies from someone who they knew for years. Yes, Sociopaths can easily lay low in plain sight. They are that good. Playing blankety blank right in front of your face.
You only really spot a Sociopath when they deliberately damage you or leave clues as to who they are and what they are capable of – Sociopaths have this longing to be acknowledged as a Sociopath (or as an evil genius – Sociopaths ARE NOT INTJs) whereby they want their victims to acknowledge their wrath and stunts – obviously denying and acting innocent when their victims or other people question them; but they got what they want. Your pain and your attention.
A Sociopaths goal is very simple:
- Target a victim
- Ruin the victims’ life
- Blame it (anything) on the victim and turn everyone against the victim (turn your boyfriend or girlfriend on you AND get with them, turn your friends on you and why the hell not turn your family on you too? It’s a sick game)
- Continue the above steps until A) Sociopath finds new target B) You die C) They lose you whereby you spit out their poison and walk away (not that you were walking towards the Sociopath anyway…if you are, “what are you doing?”).
Out of all the options, I’ll tell you why C is the best option.
Firstly, Sociopaths are not going to easily change targets until they know who they are dealing with; they have to assess the new targets’ weaknesses and strengths for a period of time, what they are about as well as getting an insight into who their friends and families are. Here, they are choosing their best target; who to release their crazy on or who to make turn against their new target (it is never a singular person that ends up hating their new victim because news travel, gossip travel, rumors travel and everyone most probably already have a friendship circle who has the same voice – they say yes, you say yes, they say no, you say no. It’s how the group dynamics work unfortunately, not everyone monitor their own thoughts and opinions these days).
Okay, back to you. The people who are all too willing to believe the lies and are all too willing to walk away from you (although it is a shame), these people proved that they never intended to stay in your life for the long run anyway. EVEN if these people knew you for ages. Regardless, if all these months and years of you being the truthful you can get unhinged by a rumor or simply by other people’s’ opinions then it’s safe to say that you are with the wrong people. You don’t need to waste your time anymore, plus, you deserve better.
Secondly, the Sociopaths names will be popping up everywhere around you, it doesn’t matter if you move home, if you are in another state OR if you are in another continent; THIS PERSON will still be able to interfere with your life regardless. They will crawl into your radar someway or another.
It is either they purposely make their presence known to you OR someone mentions their name (or names).
Honestly, us victims of Sociopaths don’t even want to know how the Sociopaths are doing so don’t be moaning and talking about them to us, some of us are fine hearing their name but if you are to waste even 2 seconds of our life by telling us where they are in life now (good or bad), don’t bother, we have no interest in letting our brain (or feelings) be filled up with that persons whereabouts. They may pry into our lives but that doesn’t mean we want to pry into theirs – we have important things to do (like sleeping, being happy and making deals with Life…..”Dear Life, I am going to eat this bucket of Ice-cream and I PROMISE that I will exercise for 15 minutes tomorrow, so please help me have a flat stomach, thank you”).
As said, when Sociopaths want information about their victims doesn’t mean that the victims want information about theirs – it doesn’t do us any good and neither do we want to have a section of our brain dedicated to the Sociopaths history. They don’t deserve a place in our thoughts.
Nonetheless, it is like Sociopaths have this vendetta against the victim OR the victim killed someone dear to the Sociopath in their past life.
It is that crazy, you are suddenly on a Sociopaths hit list.
No one is really sure how psychopaths pick their targets. Is it jealousy? Are you seen as their competition? Are you threatening? Are you with someone they like? Are you too happy? Was it the Sociopaths plan all along? Did you give too much of yourself away? Were you an easy prey? Are you too trusting? Too naive? Too sincere? (I would say maybe the victim might have done something to bring out the crazy in the Sociopath, but more often than not, the victim did nothing at all).
Now, to explain the “poison”.
After all the things that they do to you and are still going to do to you makes you want them dead or at least, hurt. But this is the poison you see. This is the Sociopaths Poison whereby your heart gets darker and murkier with every thoughts of hate, wrath and injustice. You are thinking, “why me?”, “what did I do?”, “why are they hurting my family and friends?”, “I HATE him/her”, “why don’t she/he just die?”. You hope to kill this person with your thoughts but in truth, the only person you are hurting and damaging further…is you. You yourself is the accomplice for the Sociopath. You are sinking just as low and you are carrying out their final blow, you are killing yourself through character assassination on yourself by yourself.
You are fulfilling the Sociopaths wishes of making you despise yourself and others (your paranoia will push people away). At this rate, the objective between you and the Sociopaths are really not that different; the end result and objective is you having a ruined life and you furthermore making people turn against you.
So what do you do? Deliver their wish and deal the final blow or tell them to F*ck Off?
You jump straight to option C. You spit that b*tches poison out. You cleanse yourself of all your negative thoughts. Life isn’t centered around this one negative aspect. Time doesn’t stop here and NOTHING is forever.
Granted, it may sound difficult and it does require you to alter your personality towards this person (if you have several Sociopaths on your back, I’m sorry and I understand you, I was in this position myself – I still am, HOWEVER! the following tips will help you greatly just as it still does for me).
You take away TWO powers that you are funding their crazy on:
- Your Attention
- Your Information (keep your cards close to your chest)
The first few steps are the hardest to take and it may takes days, weeks or even months; but it’s a start.
- I want you to actually think of everything that the Sociopath did to you…and then I want you to LOCK up the memories. I don’t want you unlocking those memories within the next week, the next month, or the next year. I don’t want you thinking about those memories for the next 2 years. However, these memories will be there for whatever reason you need them. At the end of this; I want you in control.
- I want you to delete and get rid of everything that reminds you of the Sociopath – delete their phone number, unfriend them, block them, get rid of photos, letters, gift. By this point, nostalgia will hit you like a rock and you reminisce about the good times. Sadly, everything you thought you knew about this person before they became a Sociopath is a lie. I want you to acknowledge that and be brave because at the end of this; I want you breathing.
- I want you to release all your hate for this/ these people. Ironic? Yes, it’s easier if you accomplished the above steps because by now, you don’t have any reminders of them on social media on in your phone or in your surroundings. I hope the people closest to you can refrain from talking about the Sociopath but this is beyond your power. Nonetheless you did everything you can to erase them; I want you released.
I want you to focus on what is important and I want you calm.
Give yourself permission to walk away from all the toxins and to not care about what they are plotting against you, what they have already done to you or what rumors they have spread about you.
Whether this Sociopath is within your family tree or is a friend, walking away could seem harsh; what would people think? Would I look like a monster? Would I look heartless? Will I look like THE culprit? Does that mean they have won? Why am I alienating myself when the Sociopath should be the one leaving empty-handed?
But here is the thing.
Sociopaths always win. They will always have the most people surrounding them, they will always have people swarming to them and they will always seem to be the good person. Plus, if they can’t get to you then they will adapt, they will get to the people closest to you and they will hurt them or brainwash them
The sad fact is…are the people closest to you just as strong as you, or are they weaker? Can you slowly help them see the light and the truth?
Sociopaths only lose and crumble when their victims have strong and tangible evidence which allows everyone to point at them. But that isn’t going to happen that easily. Although you might just try to outsmart the Sociopath or even prepared yourself to pounce for the moment they make a mistake; I would advice you to not bother – to save you some extra minutes on your life. People have bad memory, they forget things, good deeds, bad deeds, facts and actions, fast; so why waste time waiting for them to slip up or proving to people that you are right, that you are the victim or that someone is a Sociopath?
Despite the facts, YOU TOO CAN WIN. YOU don’t have to stay a victim AND YOU can win your life back. You can still leave dignified with your core values intact. You can still meet new people and develop connections by spreading your true personality and touch people with your strength and kindness. You CAN still have Good Karma.
If you really are questioning on whether walking away is a good option or not. Ask yourself this.
Did the Sociopath “care” about you when they were plotting your demise? Did they care about you and your life when they were crushing you?
No, they are happy and PROUD of dragging you or whoever it is into unnecessary problems. More often than not, the Sociopath will know what they have done to make you hate them contrary to the surprise of others.
Also, if you have to walk away from the people who turned on you, ask yourself this.
Why do you need to prove your personality when people doubt you? As far as I am concerned, no one needs a good memory if you (or anyone) know the true you, you don’t have to prove yourself if you have been yourself.
I am not telling you to voice out that you don’t like them, nor am I saying that you physically hurt them. I am just saying that you have a choice to walk away – it is your life and fear of letting someone know that you don’t like them or other people’s’ negative judgement should not dictate how you live.
Do these people bring out the best in you? Are these people toxic by nature?
(The hell you are…)
When you give yourself permission to move on and to remove all the care you have for that person, you can move on to step 2.
Step 2 is to advise you to keep all your cards close to your chest. Don’t give out information on what you are doing, what you have done, where you are in life, who you are with, who your friends are, where you live, what your weaknesses and strengths are.
Strip the Sociopath of their power. Strip them of their information about you, if they don’t have any material to work with then they have nowhere to start. The only materials are the expired information about you from years ago (hopefully) OR they could ask around about you. These 3rd party “materials” are not always 100% accurate though so it keeps these a$$holes guessing and rummaging for tasty details about you.
If the universe must make your friends meet this Sociopath then that cannot be helped, but you have done your part in keeping you and your friends etc safe.
Although it isn’t fair that you have to change yourself for the sake of a Sociopath when you are around them, trust me, it is the best decision that you would have made in their company. So what if you look like an anti-social creep for a few hours or a few years? Normally, I would strongly advise you to be the ruthless, unapologetic you but you definitely don’t want to be “in-all-your-glory” when near a Sociopath, you hear me?
The sad fact
The Sociopath (whether they are still in your life or not) will always have the power to twique your personality a bit. Maybe for the better, it opens your eyes to just what kinds of people are out there and what people are capable of.
You’ll end up going through life with a level of paranoia; thinking whether someone is really who they seem, whether someone could be trusted; you’ll end up having a wall up and end up questioning a persons’ motive for wanting to know you and get close to you, your friends and family. To an extent, if you come from a background where all your Sociopaths are of the same ethnic, you might develop a negative mindset for that particular culture/ ethnic – yes, you can end up racial profiling people. You also wouldn’t want to bring your friends and family to meet this Sociopath, as a result, you are weary of forming friendships and relationships purely based on the fact that you know you have a lot of unnecessary baggage with you. Also, you don’t really want to be the one to pull a good and innocent person into a world full of evil and negativity. As you can see Sociopath has the potential to bitter you permanently as well as influencing your decisions and choices.
However! The good news is that everyone has Free Will
I would like to say that not everyone should be written off as having an agenda. There are still nice people out there for you to meet. There are still sincere people to acknowledge and there are good people doing good deeds (it’s late but I’m happy to say that I have found this out near my early 20s). The world is a BIG place, haven’t you heard? :P
You can still learn to go into conversations open-minded and seek the goodness that many people has to offer. Go outside and look around you, heck, go to a park! See people in Love, holding hands, young and old with stories to tell, individuals playing Pokemon Go, reading, roller blading, chatting, laughing, kids playing and running, look at the swans, ducklings, birds and the fishes. Feel the wind and the sun (or the rain). Listen to nature, feel the earth, listen to your breathing and your heartbeat. Feel everything.
Life doesn’t have to be the darkness that you knew. Life can be simple and happy.
If you give yourself permission to step away from all the negative energy then you will have a chance of focusing your mind towards something bigger and something better. Don’t dwell on the negative experience, I’m not telling you to let go completely or to forget either (because no-one really forget about their suffering completely – especially if the Sociopath hurt them for decades), but if you can release about 90% of yourself from the corruption then you are doing pretty good ^-^ Good job!
Finally, I hope that you find and surround yourself with people who knows the type of person you are through and through. That nobody questions your agenda or your character.
You are WORTH IT and you DESERVE BETTER.
Like I have always said,
“Those who put you down in any way, shape, or form believes you have the potential to be better than them or are better than them already”.
P.S Again, please don’t sink as low as them as to have unpleasant and revengeful thoughts. Don’t let one moment of your time or thoughts be filled with such a distasteful person (funnily enough, I had to think of all the Sociopaths still in my life whilst writing this post – something I haven’t done in a looooooong frikking time. I’m not about to ‘reminisce’ again and to be honest, I didn’t want to touch upon this topic because my mind is in a good place but this topic has been laying in my ‘draft’ box for months. The fire in me was suddenly burning to push this topic back out).
This is a big and heavy topic and this is a crime that not many people acknowledge or understand, and so not many actually acknowledge that they have been a victim. If people were to sum up a specific crime of a Sociopaths then is would be Domestic Abuse; in a sense it is and it isn’t. However, just like Domestic Abuse, Sociopaths damaging blows can last for months and years with very occasional occurrences – they never ‘just go away’. Anyways, I hope that I could help at least one victim to understand that they are not alone and that they always have a choice to better their life and mind.